why you may never take my airfare advice ever again

Yesterday I got a call from my travel agent. "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your flight to Los Angeles has been cancelled. Varig is no longer flying to the United States due to bankruptcy complications."

I am truly the best client a travel agent could have. No screaming. No blame. Not even a sigh.

See, I've been on the caller end of this conversation before.

"Sorry to bother you Ms. Murik. This is Carly, your travel agent. I'm calling you to tell you that Bankrupt Airlines has cancelled that ticket that you so responsibly bought months and months in advance for a reasonable price. Unfortunately, Bankrupt Airlines is no longer flying that route, but the good news is that they are prepared to offer you a full refund without penalty."

Rarely does a greater injustice occur in the world of commercial aviation than when an airline cancels a route. Sure they offer a full refund in this situation, but not an immediate one, and more often than not, fares have risen considerably by the time you get the bad news. Most times, you have absolutely no recourse. Who takes the brunt of the passenger's anger? That's right, the travel vendor.

And of course, your agent's airline rep vanishes into thin air at this time. "Hi, this is Scammy Greedmonger. I'm in Barbados right now, but if you leave a message after the beep, I'll be happy to return your call once I cash in on my golden parachute and get over my jetlag and this nasty Mai Tai hangover...or not." *beep* Bankrupt Airlines is never going to offer you anything more than your money back, no matter how unfair it is that you now have to pay potentially hundreds of dollars more due to their poor business practices.

That's why I scolded myself all the way home yesterday. I knew better than to book with Varig. Last I knew, they were a shaky carrier. Questionable service. Late flights. And wasn't there some issue with their finances? Heck yeah! Varig had their planes seized not too long ago. What the hell was I thinking?

I was thinking I didn't want to pay $1300 to fly home. Three months ago, five months before I planned to fly, I sought out a ticket. I knew that due to the Thanksgiving holiday in November, prices could be higher than normal, especially for American carriers, so I decided not to dally. After visiting with Alejandra at Delfino Travel (San Martin and Corrientes), my options were Varig for $970 or everyone else for $1300 plus. Varig it was! (For my former fellow travel hockers, that was an RG W-class fare...damn, gas got expensive!)

As I walked home from my last class, I began to freak out about what prices would look like now. Angry as all get out, I plotted to chain myself to the door of the Varig office in Los Angeles until they paid me for the inevitable "difference in fare". And worse yet, what if I couldn't afford to get home before Thanksgiving? Stupid Varig! (stupid me.)

This afternoon, I cruised by Delfino Travel to resolve the situation. My agent, Alejandra was really worried about my refund. She kept trying to reach someone at Varig who would promise a prompt refund, rather than the 6 to 10 week process that most cancellations go through. I finally told her to drop it. I couldn't take the suspense of the new ticket prices anymore. Plus, I knew that I could always do a chargeback (Oh God, I hope Lauren reads this...the queen of the chargeback smackdown! Lauren, you know you're my hero, but I hope that Varig isn't near as good as beating chargebacks as you are!!!).

Alejandra got to searching as I stared at the reflection of her booking engine in her anti-glare screen cover. I resumed my role as the Neo of the Airfare Matrix...

$D01NOVEZELAX

L)(LA/A20NOVEZELAX

LA601 F9 A9 J9 Y9 B9 H9 L9 ....

"Did I see S-class seats?! Did I?? Oh God, she's scrolling!"

*MD
*MD

"Please god oh god oh god! Q-class! Q-class! Q-class! My right kidney for Q-class!"

$D20NOVEZELAX=LA

"Why is she rechecking the fare sheet??? S-class! My first born for S-class!"

L)(LA/A19NOVEZELAX

"She's so damn slow! Faster woman! Faster! Use shortcuts, damn you! Let me do it already!!!"

01Y1Y2

$BB

"Oh sweet Jesus! I'll do anything! ANYTHING!"

"I've got Lan Chile for $830*, taxes included." She continued to bang away at the keyboard, checking the fare sheet for a third time, as her deadpan intonation rang in my ears. "Wait a minute. That fare is lower than my crappy Varig ticket," I mused. "LOWER!"

"So, I can reserve this flight for you until September 23, and in the meantime I'll call Varig to try and speed up the refund process...." Man, she's a bad salesman. Close the sale, sweetheart. "I'll take it," I retorted, digging in my bag for my Visa Card.

I am the Ferris Bueller of airfare.

So what happened here? Don't I always say "Buy your international tickets four to six months in advance"? This is an anomaly in the travel industry. Sometimes, just every so often, you have to wait until two to four months in advance to get the very best price. As Alejandra put the finishing touches on my booking, I remembered that LAN was always late in releasing its good fares, while to get a good price on Varig you had to book way, way in advance. When I came to Delfino the first time to check prices, LAN was super expensive. I bet you anything, they released this new lower price a month or so after I bought my ticket.

Of course you should never, EVER follow this rule for travel in the summer or during Christmastime. Barring terrorist threats, there are no summer/Christmas sales...EVER.

So for those of you who keep asking, I'll be home the week of Thanksgiving. Just remember...Carly's a turkey.

Traveling mercies, y'all!


*That's right kids, I got a LAN Q-class fare, and I get 100% credit on my AAdantage Miles account. Excuse me while I go celebrate...