fed and watered in BsAs

So let’s face it, one of the best reasons to come to Buenos Aires is the food. Before we dive into the culinary delights of this city, a warning to my non-red meat eating friends: the pickin’s can be slim here especially if you’re a vegetarian, and nearly completely hopless if you’re a vegan. See, Argentines are exceedinly proud of their beef (and their Italian heritage) and most of the menus in this city stand as a testament to that.

First let’s start with the mother of them all: parrillada. The word parrilla means ‘grill’, so parrillada is usually translated as ‘mixed grill’, but I prefer to tell folks that it’s the Argentine version of barbecue. If you’re looking for beef in Buenos Aires, then you are well served by almost any place that has the words parrilla or parrillada associated with it. However, if you are lucky enough to get invited to an asado (the home version of parrilla), then by no means pass it up. The best beef you’ll ever eat is when you gather around a parrilla (grill) at a porteño’s house. Not to mention, an asado is a great opportunity to brush up on your castellano (Spanish). The typical parrillada is a three course affair, so let me give you an idea of what to expect.
The first course is usually comprised of grilled provoleta (provolone), chorizo (mildly spicy pork sausage), and morcilla (blood sausage). I could get my fill on this course alone, but that’s not the point here. If you are sitting down to parrillada, your mission is to eat as much beef as humanly possible.
Now, if the first course is a crowd-pleaser, the second course is a “love it or hate it” ordeal: achuras. I’m not going to go into detail on achuras because while every kind of achura is a part of the cow, it’s not the meat and muscle part, if you catch my drift. My advice is to try everything before you ask what it is (or better yet, don’t ask at all), but I will give you the names in Spanish. You can expect to sit down to chinchulines, riñones, mollejas, and maybe higado and ubre as well. If you’re not so adventurous, ask which ones are the mollejas, they’re my personal favorite and don’t taste so “insidely” for lack of a better euphemism.
Okay, if you’ve survived so far, this is where all the meat comes. If you’re eating at a restaurant and doing the full parrillada, then you can always expect vacío (flank steak) and (tira de) asado (crosscut ribs), as well as matambre (stuffed, rolled veal flank), pollo (chicken), or some variety of cerdo (pork). Now, I have to confess that the beef cuts listed above are not the best beef cuts in this country, so at some point you should also look into bife de chorizo (porterhouse), bife de lomo (loin steak), filet (filet mignon), ojo de bife (rib eye), and bife de costilla (T-bone).
When you sit down to parrilla, you can usually expect some sort of potatoes and salad on the side. However, you are guaranteed a basket of bread (they can’t eat anything without bread down here), and of course, chimichurri sauce, (oil, vinegar, garlic, oregano, and parsley). Know in advance that because the Argentines are proud of their Italian heritage, they are staunch purists. The only things that season your beef before it hits the table are salt and fire. While Argentine beef is tasty in this natural state, slap a little chimichurri sauce on there too!
One last word on the whole parrilla thing...you will notice restaurants here called tenedor libre. These places are all-you-can-eat buffets that also serve a limited parrillada. While a tenedor libre is cheap and has a ton of variety, it usually doesn’t have the best meat and it’s a little heavy on crappy Chinese food for my tastes. Instead, try a place that has parrilla libre...that’s the real parrillada that I’ve talked about here.

When you’ve had your fill of beef, head on over to one of the many Italian restaurants in Buenos Aires. Now, I understand that pasta is quite possibly one of the most straight forward foods in the world, but let me give you a bit of insight as to pasta in Buenos Aires. First, don’t be surprised if you see a fideos section in your menu. Those are pastas! (Why do Argentines have a different word for everything? I stopped asking myself that a long time ago.) Second, a lot of restaurants will list the pastas and the sauces separately, so that giant plate of pasta that you think is so cheap will come out to your table as naked as the day you were born unless you specify a sauce. Third, if you’re going to be here for some time or have access to a kitchen, check out the pasta shops that you’ll find around town. You can get fresh pastas and sauces to take home and make your own. Lastly, if you’re here on the 29th of any given month, don’t forget to eat ñoquis (gnocchis) for good luck!

While we’re on the subject of Italian food, let’s not forget about pizza. The pizza here, for the most part, is not of the thin crust authentic Italian variety. Here the crust tends to be thick and bread-like, but don’t let that deter you. It’s just a different animal here. Usual toppings in Argentina include mozzarella, green olives, jamón (ham), and morrones (bell peppers). While these are common, I prefer Napolitana (cheese, tomato slices, and oregano) or Calabresa (a Napolitana with chunks of salami). Normal so far, right? Well, before you go you have to try a couple of things. First there’s fugazza (focaccia bread) and fugazzeta (fugazza with cheese and onion slices on top). The second thing to try is faina (a flat chickpea bread), which you can put on top of a slice of pizza to bulk it up. I can’t say that it tastes like much on its own though. Oh, and before we close this chapter, the place to go in Buenos Aires for pizza is Las Cuartetas on Avenida Corrientes. This place is often confused with El Cuartito on Talcahuano, which I also like a great deal, but I know that there are many who disagree with me on that one.

My foreign friends and I often joke when trying to settle on a place for dinner that our options consist of pizza, pasta, parrillada, or empanadas. While that’s not far from the truth, here’s an idea of what else is out there. First, I haven’t mentioned empanadas yet. Empanadas are basically little turnovers that are filled with any of the following: carne (beef), carne picada (ground beef), pollo (chicken), jamón y queso (ham and cheese), queso (cheese), or humita (mashed corn with cheese, onions, and spices). Many times you will also find bits of egg or olive along with the meat empanadas. Empanadas are often found in a menu section called Minutas. These are foods that are easy for the kitchen to whip up for you. Other minutas include milanesa (breaded and fried meat, can be beef or chicken), potato dishes, and tartas (quiches). If you’re on the run, I recommend grabbing these before resorting to the real fast food that I’ll tell you about now. The ultimate in Argentine fast food is the choripan (a chorizo sausage served on a french roll). If you’re not eating a choripan it’s because you couldn’t find one. In the absence of a choripan, I will hit up one of the many pancho (hot dog) stands in the city. Most of them are open 24 hours a day, are the cheapest meal you can get, and also have things like hamburgers. One note about hamburgers...be sure to order a hamburguesa completa, because a hamburguesa sola is just the patty, no bun, no accoutrements. If you’re in the mood for a sandwich, try a pebete (pebete bread, and usually something like ham and cheese inside).

Okay, enough of the solid stuff...let’s get on with the beverages! The most popular beer in Argentina is Quilmes, but I will tell you from personal experience that Quilmes gets old pretty quickly. Instead, try to hunt out Isenbeck, Iguana, or Brahma. (Of course I don’t know why I’m telling you this...I know that y’all will just defect to Heineken, Warteiner, or Stella Artois once you figure out the conversion from pesos to dollars.) But you didn’t come here for beer, did you?
Nope, if you drink, you can’t leave without doing your fair share of wine sampling. Argentines guzzle about 76 liters per person per year (while Canadians only nurse an average of 9 liters per person per year). This is serious business. Now to keep you from getting all overwhelmed when you’re standing in the wine aisle at the supermarket, here’s some general tips. If you like red wine, then you’ll be looking at Malbec (what Argentina does best), Cabernet Sauvignon (they’re nice and hearty here), Tempranillo (a toast to Argentina’s Spanish roots), and Syrah (the future of Argentina). If you prefer white, then your options include Torrontés (a national varietal like malbec), Semillon (It’s a little pricey though. This fickle grape is found in its best form in only two places here in Argentina), Chardonnay (they’re getting better here all the time), and Sauvignon Blanc (why not?). Now, I’m sure you want to ask me some labels that you should check out, but I’d rather give you this general rule. Unless you are serious enough about wine to drop some real money down here, don’t ever spend more than 10 pesos (about $3.30 US) on a bottle of wine at the supermarket. There’s just no need. Now, if you really want to learn something, then go to Mendoza for some wine tasting and then you’ll know more than me. I’ll be happy to learn all I need to know about Argentine wine from you...as long as you’re buying!

Of course, there’s more than just the booze down here. In case you haven’t heard, Buenos Aires has a healthy cafe culture. Be sure to spend some time in the cafe of your choice sipping café con leche/café cortado/café doble and nibbling on medialunas (croissants) or some other factura (pastry). I’m not going to go into too much detail here because if you’re in Buenos Aires and you’re looking to hang out in a cafe, you should really call me. I waste time in cafes like they’re paying me to be there. Oh, and it’d be sweet if it was your treat on this one too!

If you need a stimulant, but you don’t want coffee and cocaine sounds like overkill, then try some mate. Mate, or yerba mate, is like a loose leaf tea (yerba) that you drink out of a hollowed out gourd (mate) through a metal straw with a filter on it (bombilla). It’s a communal thing, so if you have a flavor preference, you might want to ask if it’s amargo (bitter, a.k.a. natural) or dulce (sweet). Mate is purported to have mateine in it (just like Red Bull’s wing supposedly come from taurine), but who cares? It will give you a small buzz, kill your appetite (and thereby help keep your weight down from all the parrilla and pasta you’ve been eating), and if you’re a touch constipated, it can help in that department too! What a wonder drink! Last beverage, before I go...you should really try a licuado. In its simplest form it’s milk, banana and sugar blended together. At its most frou-frou, it’s akin to something you get at Jamba Juice. Just give it a shot...or better yet, buy me one!

Well, it now occurs to me that I’ve made it this far in my discussion of Argentine food without once mentioning that Argentines have a shameless sweet tooth. Well, just because I haven’t said it until now doesn’t mean that it’s any less true. Before you leave Buenos Aires, you will most likely, at some point, overdo it on the dessert. Here’s what to look for. Helado artesanal, and don’t forget the artesanal! This city has some great gelato, but you won’t find it if you go to a regular helado (ice cream) joint. If you need me to simplify things, just find your closest Freddo (it’s a chain) and go back as often as you can to sample all their flavors. As I mentioned briefly before, be sure to check out facturas (little pastries) at either cafes or bakeries. Most cafes will also have some mean tortas (cakes). However, all of this pales in comparison to dulce de leche and the mightly alfajor. Dulce de leche is caramelized sweet condensed milk, so is therefore much more superior in every way to the rinky dink caramel you’ve had at home. Dulce de leche is so good, in fact, I’m sure that the alfajor came into being just to give people a portable way to eat dulce de leche. An alfajor is a little layered cake (with dulce de leche between the layers) and it’s classically dipped in chocolate, or rolled in sugar (or coconut). The other way to define an alfajor is heaven. I’m not alone on this one. I’ve heard that as many as 6 million alfajores are consumed on an average day in Argentina. If you want to know the place to go, check out any Havanna coffee shop in the city...they’re the best for alfajores artesanales!

So I hope you’ve enjoyed this little preview of culinary delights in Argentina. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m a bit hungry. I think I’m going to grab a choripan or two!